dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My Higher Power is John Stamos
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
