AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
