i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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