What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
