Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
