i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
soo... how was my night?
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