today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
