I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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