apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You pole danced in your parka.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
