we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
