This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
