I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He felt like a one man threesome
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
