Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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