Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
