My liver just broke up with me...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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