the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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