I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
