I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
