i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
