And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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