Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
