ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
