I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
