before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
