I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
