shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
