just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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