for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
