Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
