Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
