like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
