Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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