dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
