Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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