i think i have two assholes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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