I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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