no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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