You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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