what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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