I cannot find my penis.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
