I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
