the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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