I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize