Where are you?
In a non slutty way
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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