I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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