i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
