So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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