East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize