seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
