Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
