i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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