She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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