Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
