I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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