Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
