he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
