Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
