hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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