why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
