Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
