Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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